(The 10 ways I’ll know I’ve made into the BIG time as an author)
[Blogger’s Note: My latest novel, SIGNS OF WAR is in her final stages of editing – which means I’m basically sitting here waiting to finalize the graphic design/ISBN/Library of Congress/formatting/publishing so I can release her into the world. In my youth, I would turn to the bottle to pass the time and calm my nerves … nowadays I blog, venting my frustrations with mindless banter without the hangover the next day] By the way … the following is humor … so it’s okay to laugh!
I’ll know I made it as an author when …
#10 – I don’t mix up my royalty payment from Amazon with a returned payment for a broken Transformers toy I bought for my son.
#9 – I stop reading spam mail like its fan mail.
#8 – Joe Konrath replies to one of my comments on his blogs.
#7 – I stop reading Joe Konrath’s blogs because I’m too busy being a successful author. Joe recently intimated that only loser writers (like me) read his blogs because once a writer is successful, he/she doesn’t waste his/her time reading blogs. They’re too busy being John Malkovich.
#6 – Joe Konrath asks me to write a guest blog for him … one that I won’t read because I’m too busy being John Malkovich.
#5 – Cris De Niro appears in Brad Thor’s newest offering: Athena Project II: Cris & the Chicks
#4 – I write my next novel at a cabin in between fishing for muskie (like Joe Konrath)
#3 – I write my first non-fiction piece, How I Pre-Sold 1 Million eBooks
#2 – I lay out the pennies for a Kindle of my very own instead of stealing my wife’s like I’m a degenerate raiding her panty drawer.
#1 – My wife changes my name in her OUTLOOK from “Friggin’ Author” to “Sugar Daddy”
I hope I publish this book soon … is all I’m saying …
p.s. Apologies to Joe Konrath … though, I’m sure he’s too successful to ever read this blog. c”,)
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Dean Wesley Smith